please let me write the warning labels
This morning in my (finally-tiled) shower I noticed the warning label on my really yummy-smelling body wash. It read caution: not for internal use.
If there is goodness and fairness in the world, someday I will be allowed to re-write the warning labels. If I wrote this one, it would say caution: not for internal use, you moron. because THIS IS SOAP.