I AM FUEL, YOU ARE FRIENDS

...we've got the means to make amends. I am lost, I'm no guide, but I'm by your side. (Pearl Jam, Leash)

Saturday, May 12, 2007

The scent of hypocrisy

This is a replay of an actual conversation in my head recently.

Me: Standing overwhelmed in the deodorant aisle, facing the bewildering array of choices. Amongst the 'Shimmering Luminous Lily' and 'Peach Pizazz Sparklerama' choices (in a variety of clear gel, sheer solid and wow-I-can't-see-it formulations) I see a new scent: Vanilla Chai.

I say to myself, "That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Come on, yuppies. Vanilla CHAI deodorant? Who the flip needs vanilla CHAI . . . Wow. That smells good." (toss into handbasket).

So now my underarms smell like a $4.75 beverage from Starbucks, at the cost of my dignity.

10 Comments:

At May 12, 2007 12:14 PM, Anonymous James said...

Bahahaha!

 
At May 12, 2007 12:21 PM, Anonymous russell said...

In the words of Kevin Bacon;"It's a smile."

 
At May 12, 2007 12:54 PM, Anonymous Hugo said...

the shity capitalist world of "uselessness" is filled with very disturbing cool stuff..

and we're drawn to it like (in the words of one Dr. John Dorian or JD) "a bear to honey".

quoting is cool

 
At May 12, 2007 1:27 PM, Blogger hunter said...

its almost the same for guys, there are waaaayyyyy too many choices for deodorant. and all of those choices come in three different choices (like you said, clear, regular, and whatever the third one is)

 
At May 12, 2007 5:24 PM, Anonymous debs said...

When you take the cap off there are free iTunes for Pennyroyal Tea by Nirvana or One More Cup of Coffee...The White Stripes not Dylan.

It just steams my milk.

 
At May 13, 2007 1:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The thing is, I work at one of these places that sells nonesnse bodycare to people. And I get paid to sell people this shit they don't need... hah Imagine my life....

 
At May 13, 2007 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, it's your underarm.

If it smells nice then what's the trouble?

You'll fit in the Starbucks crowd better that way.

 
At May 13, 2007 8:55 PM, Blogger SINEDDIE said...

people will say...man she drinks so much starbucks...it's coming out of her pours!!!

 
At May 14, 2007 10:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heather you smell like a starbucks drink...so you're now a walking subliminal advertisement for the new Paul McCartney album if im not mistaken!
mick dillingham

 
At May 14, 2007 7:26 PM, Blogger Miss Jaime said...

I have that very same deodorant, but instead of smelling like an over-priced coffee-based beverage -- I've been told I smell like a Russian hooker (apparently, the deodorant smells like vanilla vodka).

Needless to say, my friends are assholes.

Love the blog, by the way. Your Springsteen posts are amazing :)

 

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