Who won that Ben Folds contest?

So who did win that contest for the autographed copy of Ben Folds' new album? I was thinking the same thing, especially after I got my own copy in the mail this weekend and enjoyed listening to it. I could definitely appreciate the remastering in several of the songs - drum crescendos were crisper, and I noticed sounds I hadn't heard in the original. My copy is, of course, not autographed (come on, it's lifestyles of the obsessive and carpal-tunnel afflicted in blogland, not the rich and famous and privileged).

The superspecial winner of the poetry contest was . . . "Kev"! His simple poem echoed very closely my own trigger into a freefall of darkness and money-spending called: Visiting The Record Store.

Kev wrote:

i cant go down to the record store,
im afraid what i might do
the last time i went to that old place
i stayed the whole day through

i cant go down to the record store,
if i do, my girlfriend says she will just go
shes jealous of bruce, ryan and bob
pearl jam, ben kweller, wilco

for the things that i see at the record store
are just too tempting for a boy like me
fuel for friends i know you can save me
by sending me that special cd


How can I resist? Thanks for composing, everyone. Runners up (who get absolutely nothing) were Ryan who used a gazillion Ben Folds song titles in a story/Mad Libs type thingie, and Aaron who composed "rebuttal haikus" to each of the previous entrant. Unfortunately, Aaron lost because "bee-yotch" is actually two syllables.


TUNE SAMPLE:
"Rent-A-Cop" - Ben Folds
(Lyrics: "I’m ‘trolling food court for girls, Yeah, it’s the best job in the world, They know they’re safe with me, They love my little mustache, They love a man in uniform.")

Buy the album